The Slippery Slope

So I've been debating for years, if not my entire life, on whether or not to put this one up.  The truth is that I almost don't WANT to know the answers to these questions.  I mean, how can I ever be confident that I'll find a truly pure and clean young lady if my fears are realized with the kinds of results that could come of this sort of survey?  Who will I be able to trust??  How can I be sure that they've completely repented??!  I get light headed even thinking that my future wife might actually in this very moment be passionately kissing or even (heaven forbid) getting light-petted (petted lightly?) by another dude.

But no. The truth must come out. Without further ado, I give you  - the chastity survey.

**If you are married, count anything you've done while married. It will just make the rest of us jealous anyway.

**Also, if your responses are inconsistent, I'll delete them.

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A Modest Proposal

There are definitely those among us who appreciate and glorify a modest, decent dress code faithfully adhered to by the beautiful young ladies and cougars (in this case I am actually referring to their mothers) in our fair Provo.  However, it has come to my attention that some may not agree that modest really is hottest.  I mean, I know that everytime I listen to Dave Matthews' "Crash Into Me", I always turn the volume WAY down when he says "hike up your skirt a little more"....but is that really necessary?  How far up can you hike it before we see a little too much of your world, ladies?  Your take?

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I must say I'm shocked.  I suppose I forgot to ask whether it's okay for guys to wear speedos?  Not that I would ever wear a speedo...


- Cougar Anonymous

Why wouldn't the Mormon pirate watch "Braveheart"?

So this is possibly one of the most divisive issues I can think of in the BYU community, aside from whether or not you are a Democrap or a Republican.  That's right - whether or not you watch R-rated movies.  Here's the survey, but I'm also asking for any other comments you have on why you do or do not watch movies of certain ratings.

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Tainted Love

 So with the fall upon us, many are looking for new, hot dating prospects in their wards.  Many BYU students look around their wards only to find that the hottest girls are often in hair/beauty school or that the guys actually go to UVU or are just working for APX.  Devastating, I know...but does it really matter?

Here's a little survey to pry into how we all really feel about those who weren't blessed with the capacity to attend BYU.

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So, clearly hair/beauty school girls and pretty much everyone at UVU is at a disadvantage (in more ways than one)...unless you buy into the idea that ignorance is bliss.  After all, sometimes its a lot of pressure being at such a prestigious university.


Also, you'll notice that the guys are considerably more picky (based on the fact that girls weighted the UVU issue towards "Yes, of course".)  What are we missing guys?  Why would they even consider resorting to UVU?


- Cougar Anonymous

A Quickie

We all know them. Maybe we ARE them.  They've graduated, they're not married, they don't plan on doing this forever but they need a way to stay inside the bubble.  What's your favorite way to keep them here?

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Really people?  I mean, guys, how else are you going to get married with out some APX cash flow to throw around?

Also, ladies, elementary school teachers are hot.  What other kind of woman is going to raise my kids that well?

Honor Code Survey

So what do other zoobies really think about the honor code?

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